World AIDS Day

It's not abnormal for me to be the last one to figure things out. However i am appalled at myself for not knowing or remembering that today was the start of World Aids Day. Let me Give a little Background into the Why i am pissed at myself then i will move into my thoughts. When i was in Highschool i was in a foster home in a small town. I was a big city girl stuck in a small small town. For those of you who know my life story know i was never taught that Loving someone of the same sex was wrong, neither was drugs, drinking or Hooking but those lessons were for TOTALLY different Reason( lived next door to a whore house growing up) ANYWAYS Back to my Point.. I took it upon myself to Educate stupid people.. Now that sentance should tell you were it got me. NO WERE fast. I was in Highschool 1990-1994. This was a time that i remember that gave a damn about AIDS eduction and gettin the word out.. So a lost girl found a cause. LONG story short.. My Bad ass loud mouth got the Health Education Classes updated and Mandated better Aids Education. We had Wonderful speakers and people living with the Virus come in and talk.. I worked in homes with patients and sadly i lost a few friends along the way. Then i went into college, started drinking parting and had a child.. I tried to stay updated and involved but i havent. I let alot of things slip. Now i am a bitter old woman of 35 4 kids and i REALLY need to get active again because i'll be damned if i trust the schools to educate my kids the right way. OK that was the past Now on to the Future.

Today while Reading my Twitter one of my Smart but very Cute friends said "I have been HIV+ for 4 years and going strong! I prey that everyone, no matter your status is healthy, and lives a happy long life"! So i got to thinking
1. Now that i know this do i think he is any less of a Hottie? Nope Stilling looking good nearly naked to me.
2. Does this matter to other people?
Are we so shallow of a people that we would judge someone based on their HIV/Aids status? Are we any better off now in 2009/2010 then we where in 1990? Medications, over all health, prevention and Education has gotten better.. Out of all the things listed i think Education is suffering again.. The numbers went down so we as a people have forgotten and are starting to develop that God complex again. Are we telling our children LOOK.. This is still out there.. IF your going to have sex you need to be as safe as you can be BUT there are Not 100% promises. Nothing is perfect except not having sex at all. No some of us dont.. We preach dont have sex dont have sex dont have sex.. but we dont back it up with why shouldnt you.. When i look at my children this is what i see.. ME.. I never did what my mother told me i always did what i wanted.. So do i expect my kids to do anything better? Hell No.. SO when i said to my 13yr Look.. I am NOT stupid enough to think that you are going to wait to have sex so here is the Deal.. IF and when you do tell me.. I already asked her Doctor about putting her on birth control. I also said i didnt care if she had sex with Boy girls herself or all of the above i just wanted to know. i cant help her be safe if i dont know.. I am about ready to break out the banana and condom and start showing her how to do it and keep her supplied. I'm a bad parent arent i? Anyways.. This World Aids Day My suggestion is this...

Think about what you as a person can do to help educate someone who doesnt know

The next time you stare at that Picture of the Hot *fill in the blank* ask yourself does it truly matter to me.. If it does ponder why it matters.

DO something to help the Community... Volunteer some time At a home for Aids Patients

Hug Your child,Pet, whatever and thank whoever it is you thank that you have another day with them because someone somewhere is Dying of Aids Related complications.

The Working Mind of a Mother of 4

I think that Twitter is the bane of its own exsistance!! Because of Twitter i have gotten to know Porn Stars Go Go Dancers and Rent Boys. I have learned a great many things since my introduction to Twitter!! I keep in touch with writers i love and i wonder often if i boarder on stalking. Because of Twitter and my out going nature to want to get to know people i am writing my first book ever. Any ways the name of this Blog is The Working mind of a mother of 4. yes i am 35 and i have 4 wonderful heathen like children. Each has their own personality and makes be wonder about their future. I think i can accurately guess what each of my kids are going to be when they grow up.. Not saying that it will change or that i am wrong but i am the type of mom who swears i will love them unconditionally. But i have been thinking about that can i love a child without conditions? I want to say Yes I can. But sadly i am not sure its true.. Will i love them if they are Ax Murderers.. Yes they are my babies of course.. I wont love what they did but i love the child that i bore and raised. Will I love them if they become strippers, Go Go Dancers Porn stars, Gay straight or bi or whatever.. WITHOUT a doubt and if they work with or get to know anyone i am lusting over more the merrier. My rant about Twitter was for a reason. I have learned something about people and parenting. 1. I AM NOT Normal!! I use to not be ok with that. but i am now why because despite what many churches want to tell me or brain wash me to believe. God No matter his or her name loves everyone without condition Like a parent should. I will never say i love only if your or you do..... I love you despite the fact you drive me nuts, ignore me and act like you know it all. 2. How do Gay men really feel about all these straight woman fawning over them.. I have befriended writers, porn stars, Etc and i wonder sometimes how many of them think i am just a silly straight mom with no life.. Does it matter to them that straight woman love Gay porn? That we make up a good chunk of their sales? sadly these are things i wonder about.. i know somewhere in here i said i wasn't normal. that's my rant.. and what is in the mind of this mom of 4. I promise my blogs will get better the more i do it. Love me or hate me i am what i am and i am nutters

DJ Manly Admiration Association

Its time to Put someone else in the spotlight and show my undying Admiration. This time around its DJ Manly!!! Oh were to start. Lets start with The Whispered his latest book. I also want to admit a few things.. I was reading DJ's Books Long before I started on AJ's. I found AJ through DJ with their Black Point books. I loved DJ's books. They were thought provoking sexy as hell and i got my happily ever after. The Whispered i think was and i could be wrong and i have been up for almost 36hrs now so Please be gentle if i am wrong his first attempt at paranormal. I was Griped in suspense and i pride myself on figuring out Who Done it and I was not only surprised but stunned at the fact i was wrong.. i figured out some small things but over all i was wrong. I also know that DJ is hard at work on more books and Moving into his first house. So DJ You are Truly a Gifted writer and I hope that my blog will at the very least brings you a small Smile

Silver pixie

AJ Llewellyn Admiration Association

Oh were is a girl to start!!! A.J Llwewllyn (www.ajllewellyn.com) is a Handsome, Sweet, energetic, talented, silly, smart and gifted writer!! That's just a few of the wonderful things about him.. I have brought everything i can that he has written. I don't have everything yet but i am working on it. He is one in a million. He Loves His readers. He Cares and not like some who just humor us when they run into us in chat or in groups. He Loves the love and affection we give. He encourages us to send him trinkets and gifts and is overly enthusiastic when he gets treats. His writing.. That is something else all together. He has a love and Respect for Hawaii that is borderline obsession. When he writes about the islands, the places and the people your right there with him. I want to give an example of how much he cares about is readers and i don't mean to embarrass him but this was something he did for me. He went to Hawaii and told everyone that he was taking a offering to Pele. I emailed him and asked him if it wasn't to much trouble if he would take her an offering as well as i was having a hard time at that time and i could use all the blessings i could get. He emailed me back and said he would be honored and to write a note to include. Long story short Not only did he take mine he ended up with alot of other peoples. He took a picture of the offerings and emailed it to me. Its the background of both my laptops. It reminds me everyday that there are people who say when they mean and do as they say. its silly but its one of the many many things i Admire about Him. So this Blog is Devoted to Him.. want to Join the Rest of us who Admire and Love AJ? Pipe up tell me why you love him. AJ - You are not only a wonderful Man your are a wonderful writer and person and i wish nothing but love and blessings for you!! Oh and Many many Many Cupcakes!!


The offering to Pele..

School!!

my picture has nothing to do with school i just like him his
tats and His nipple rings i wanna tread my tounge through them and tug tug tug till someone moans!! Anyways to the point at hand.. School!! some Love it some Hate it currerntly right now i am Praying for it!!!! Damn it!!! School starts here THANKFULLY in a few weeks.. Aug 24 or 25th to be exact!! I am living for the Quiet Mornings ( even with the 1yr she turns one on the 24th) and time to myself.. Thats sad really i dont have time to me!! I get stalked by children.. i can take baths alone, i cant pee alone someone is always following me!! hell i dont even sleep without a kids ( dont start on me about how i need to get thm out my bed i need to get out of theirs one sleeps with daddy the other has me sleep with her and she cant even sleep all night) I just did a run of EEGs with my 7yr and cant wait to see if the test tells me what a crappy mom i am for not realizing that she spaces out and not ignores adults. This will also get us Ammo to get her put in 2nd grade were i think she belongs she is too smart to hold back she will torture her teacher and other kids!!! i am kinda liking the blogging but i dont know if anyone wants to read it.. i blog about silly shit it seems.. i dont know the only follower i have is me!! yes somehow i linked my AOL to my Gmail here so i am now my own best Friend.. i tried to make a Google webpage!!! i cant get it to show all the pages do i am about to scrap it and use yahell but i dont like yahell.. its idiot proof but i am running out of address to use there.. anyways enjoy the eye candy if nothing else.. i am learning this blogging thing.. post hate mail or whatever i like comments even if its to tell me to shut up..

Fallen

Ok I feel like i have fallen or more so that I am broken!!! I feel like i can't do anything right and i have nothing to offer.. The highlight of my pathetic life was this past weekend when i went to go see Carol and other writers.. The was one of the my best moments i have ever had other then having my kids. But even that felt off.. I made myself feel like i didnt deserve to be there nor did i belong with all of these wonderful talented people. I felt like i didnt have anything to offer them.. my bubbly personality only gets me so far in life.. of course coming home from being away should have been happy but things just picked up were they left of before i left.. I loved my weekend away and i will never ever ever trade my memories of my weekend.. i just wish i didnt feel like a broken angel.

12am and Cant Sleep!

It's not my fault sleep is not something i know about!!! At random times in my life no matter how tired i am i cant sleep.. This seems to be one of those times. I have been pondering life's message and i am sorry to say i think i deleted the message on my machine or i was out and missed it. I don't care how Corney this sounds but my obsession with Gay Erotic fiction leads to to believe that either in another life i was a Homosexual Man or i am out of touch with my male side.. then again How in the Hell is a 35yr woman out of touch with her male side I mean do we even have one.. This whole post BTW is going to be nothing but mindless rants.. I have a lot of them tonight sorry deal. I am also pondering selling my children on the black market or at least the over active ones.. will post more later when spring break really begins to kill me.. its only Monday i shouldn't be wishing them back to school yet. done make me even start in on my almost 8month old... speaking if that i feel old and fat or is that fat and old.. I have never been a super model but i know there is something missing in my life.. I use to turn heads and get cat calls.. Now all i hear is beeping noises cause of my fat ass. my fiance is of no help after 7yrs He is blinded by sex.. notice i said sex no love.. Good gravy i can give you posts on sex and my lack of wanting it unless its 2 men in a book and i can be watching.. OK OK OK enough random madness. please feel free to leave posts or hate mail.. i love hate mail

Don't Hate me because i am Beautiful
Hate me Cause Your SO though so cause i do this thing
with my tongue.